The ability to trust and, in turn be trusted, is an important aspect of our identity that defines how we relate to other people. When another person can confidently rely on your character, strengths and abilities, you have gained their trust. This is especially important with loved one’s since trust forms the foundation for successful, long-term relationships, something we often take for granted.  So how do you build trust and maintain a happy, healthy relationship? Here are some tips:

It takes a leap of faith to be trusting. In any type of relationship, there are different levels of trust: assurance that what you say will be kept in confidence, a promise of fidelity, or the ‘for better or worse’ marriage vows. You may have fleeting thoughts of mistrust for example, about cheating or that you can’t show your true self for fear of rejection - these are normal human emotions. But when there is an unresolved, persistent lack of trust or an intuitive sense of betrayal, a rift is made in the intimacy of the relationship, even if there is no evidence to backup this feeling.

Esablishing and Maintaining Trust

To establish trust, you must be willing to expose your true self, sharing those things that we sometimes hesitate to admit for fear of disapproval. You will undercut a healthy relationship by creating barriers or hiding those things you think won’t be loved. Make an effort to appreciate who you are - faults and all - and then allow every part of you to be seen by your partner. Trust requires honesty above all else.

Friendship, workplace, family or romance - the type of relationship doesn’t matter, communication is the key to a trusting relationship. Both parties must work to reassure each other of their willingness to trust and be worthy of trust. Be open to thoughtful questioning and be willing to challenge the complacency of second guesses. Your perception may not be accurate and by actively communicating you will learn the truth of any situation. A good ear goes a long way to building the trust.

Jealousy Can Destroy Relationships

One of the most insidious things that can erode trust in a relationship is jealousy. Suspicious and often intolerant, feelings of jealousy can begin with an innocent interaction to a festering poison that can destroy the relationship. Talking about a past relationship or checking out people at the bar may initiate feelings of mistrust. But by being aware of how your actions may be interpreted, you can avoid the dangerous emotion of jealousy.

Dealing With Betrayal

The scariest thing about trust, is the devastating proof that your trust has been betrayed. Discovering that the confidence you had placed on your betrayer was misplaced may have you feeling vulnerable and doubting your own worthiness or your ability to judge other people. The betrayal may even cause you to question the fundamental goodness of the world - reframing your whole reality and outlook on love.

Recovering from a betrayal requires patience and a willingness to be vulnerable again. You may not even be conscious of how it has impacted your values, beliefs, actions and interaction. Letting go of the past is the hardest part of betrayal and acknowledging the ways that the past comes up for you in the present in the next step to moving on. Don’t allow your past to create your present and future.