The thrill of opening an email from someone who has found you through a social media or online dating site can be the highlight of your day. Having a virtual stranger find you attractive or interesting can be a real ego boost. But this moment of exhilaration is far from the reality of your desire to establish a serious, long-term relationship, and the exchange will go nowhere if you don’t take action. To reach your goal, you need to know how to make the transition from online exchanges to an in-person date.

Staying active on the dating or social media site is probably the most important factor when trying to hook up for more than a one-night-stand. Anyone looking for a serious relationship will log in regularly and answer their emails. One of the biggest complaints from online daters is a delayed or, even worse, a lack of response from the people they try to connect with. Responding to an email a week or more after the initial contact sends the message that you’re not that serious about finding a partner or that you’re only interested in fun and games.

Conversation Styles
Once you have a steady conversation going with a potential date, be careful with your language. Keep written conversation light and casual. Opinions or jokes shared out loud have the benefit of body and facial language to convey your intent, but the same content could be misunderstood in writing and may be seen in a negative light. It’s particularly important to avoid any overtly sexual material or innuendo. You don’t want to come across as needy or, even worse, a pervert.

Moving on to a phone conversation is an intermediate step that can help you decide if you want to meet face-to-face. Pay attention to the tone of voice and demeanor of your partner. Although a phone call only provides a limited amount of information, this ”live” interation will allow you to share without the cover of answers prepared in advance.

Meeting in Person for the First Time
When you’re ready to take the next step and meet in person, make it short and sweet. Trying too hard to impress will just add stress to the situation. Meet at a coffee house or café – somewhere to talk and get to know each other better. This will be your opportunity to determine if you want to continue pursuing the relationship.