The so called ‘cougar’ phenomenon is getting a lot of attention these days. Cougar is the phrase used in dating circles for an older woman who is interested in dating a younger man. The term casts these women in an unfavorable light as highly sexual predators hunting for vulnerable men. Older men in the same boat are given a sweet, father figure nickname – Sugar Daddy.

The idea that this is a new trend can quickly be dispelled by the fact that older women have been hooking up with younger men as far back as ancient Egyptian times. Cleopatra, just one example, married two of her brothers over a period of time in compliance with Egyptian tradition; the first brother was only 12 and she was 17 when they wed.

Cou-gar [koo-ger], -noun
1. A large cat also called a mountain lion, panther or puma.
2. An older woman who hangs out at clubs to score a much younger man.

In the celebrity world the list of ‘cougars’ would include Demi Moore and Aston Kutcher, with a 15 year gap, Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong with an 11 year spread and Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins with 12 year difference. It is, however, true that society views a couple with a 20 year age gap to far more likely consist of an older man with a younger woman.

Times are a-changing
It was only 40 years or so ago that the woman would have been condemned and ostracized by society for dating a younger man. In a perfect world, the fact that two people are attracted to each other and have consented to form a relationship would be applauded. But the double standard of older men who date younger women (considered at the top of their game) continues year-after-year, while older women dating younger men are seen as desperate and lonely.

But women who have dated younger men would vehemently disagree. Many younger men are the ones who are hungering for the company of an older woman, someone with experience, style and flair. They may be hoping for a deeper connection or unique relationship that they haven’t been able to find in the dating situations they have already experienced. Many people looking for these unusual arrangements find that using an Internet dating service is the easiest and fastest way to find a partner.

Even if a woman is looking to relive her youth by seeking a younger man, who’s to criticize a liaison where the partners have a clear understanding and appreciation of the engagement? The younger man may reap benefits that he may not otherwise have had, while the woman may enjoy a boost to her ego. Where the terms of their relationship are understood from the outset, both people can enjoy the excitement and pleasurable life that awaits them.

The Truth about Cougar Dating
CNN recently ran a segment called “Cougar Night” where they talked women looking for younger men. The women were independently wealthy, while the men were on a lower rung of the economic ladder. Statistics show that these unique relationships are definitely in the minority, with 2001 stats showing them as the smallest group.

Although these relationships are typically short-lived, we’re seeing a shift in society’s acceptance of  ’cougars’. As women reach higher levels of financial success, they may feel empowered to go it alone. I believe that the percentage of the population involved in an older woman/younger man relationship will remain steady and that what appears to be a growing trend is actually a reflection of the larger population of women reaching middle age and shaking things up looking for love and romance.