It may be true that first impressions are largely determined by outward appearances, but how is it that the average-looking girl is voted homecoming queen, while the class beauty is passed over?  What makes everyone want to be near her? She has a magnetism that attracts people; she’s memorable. When navigating the dating scene, being remembered is key to getting a second look and keeping someone’s attention.

To be memorable, you have to be authentic. There’s nothing memorable about a person who is just like everyone else. If others find you so comfortable to be around that they want to know you better, your relationships will be more plentiful and life will be more interesting. Your career may benefit when you put an emphasis on being more memorable and are willing to go against the mainstream.

Do you ever wonder if you have a sign on your back announcing to the world that you’re attracted to jerks? You know the type. He’s the insensitive one who puts his needs before everyone else’s and is demanding, childish and angry. If you’re the sole financial supporter in your relationship, compromising all of your wants and needs to please him and make him happy, you may be dating a jerk.

Although there may not be a physical sign on your back, it’s likely that you’re sending signals of vulnerability and neediness. But don’t lose hope, there are some things you can do to attract a decent guy.

More than half (54%) of all couples who married between 1990 and 1994 began their relationship cohabiting together before getting married. By 2000, the total number of unmarried couples in America was nearly five million, up from less than half a million in 1960. Nearly ten percent (9.6%) of all couples living together were unmarried in 2007, according the U.S. Census. And for couples who have been married more than once, the rate of living together is even higher.

The baby boomer generation is 75 million strong, representing nearly 30% of the U.S. population, consisting of those born between 1946 and 1964, and 45 to 63 years of age in 2009. Anyone who is a member of this illustrious group can vouch for the fact that they were defined by the ‘60’s.  The music of the Mamas & the Papas  and the Drifters, the Vietnam War, the political climate (Watergate, JFK, etc.) and the search for freedom made deep impressions on the baby boomer generation.

In their relationships, baby boomers are committed to the institution of marriage and many are still happily married to their high school sweethearts. On the flip side, this is the generation that pushed the divorce rate up to 50% and made it more acceptable. Baby boomers are nearing retirement and looking forward to a life of leisure. After all, they’re in better shape and better educated than any other generation.

Are you one of the nice guys out there who believes that women only fall for the bad boys and rarely make time for a good guy? Can you relate with the cliche ‘nice guys finish last’? At the same time, women are always asking the opposite question, “Where are all the nice guys?” Seems a little confusing…

You’re the guy in the crowd who isn’t interested in chug-a-lugging beer until you pass out. You’re also not the one who throws the first punch to defend your honor. You’re dependable, average in the looks department, a good listener, trustworthy and loyal. You have plenty of women ‘friends’ and everyone says what a great guy you are and that you’d be a great catch. But even with all the traits that women claim to look for in a man, you’re striking out in dating department. So what’s really going on?

Our first impression of other people comes through our sense of sight, sound and smell. Our sense of touch, on the other hand, is something we hunger for and one of the best ways of communicating our feelings to others. Touch provides comfort and reassurance.

From the moment we are born we crave touch. It is the beginning of how we build self-esteem and a way to increase intimacy. In a romantic relationship, we go through stages of touch that play an important part in the increasing intimacy of the relationship.

A balanced relationship is often described as a relationship of equals. But that is a misnomer. Couples who are looking for equality will struggle with an endless stream of mental arithmetic to keep a balanced scorecard, only to find out that equality is an unrealistic fantasy.

Consider a two-pan beam scale, like the one that symbolizes justice, perfectly balanced. The delicate balance of the scale is not dependent upon the specific contents of each pan. In fact, each side may hold elements that have no resemblance to each other or anything in common. This is a metaphor for a balanced relationship.

A ‘healthy relationship’ – what does one look like? Can you ever hope to have one? If you consider the media portrayal of relationships – ridiculously happy or drama filled and miserable, you may begin to wonder. But the truth of having a healthy relationship lies somewhere in the middle. You’ll never find a couple in complete misery or utter happiness all the time.

By observing the relationships of our family and friends, we may come to the conclusion that having a healthy relationship is a hopeless case of fantasy because of the dysfunction we see. But do we have false expectations? Maybe these relationships aren’t dysfunctional at all.

People relate with each other by using three different approaches:  passive, aggressive or assertive behavior. While most of us are familiar with the passive or aggressive nature of a friend or loved one, we may not recognize an assertive personality. People often mistake assertiveness for aggressiveness, but there are some key differences between these approaches to relationships.

Assertiveness is the sweet spot between being too aggressive and too passive. Based on mutual respect, assertiveness is the ability to express yourself effectively and to stand up for your point of view, thoughts and feelings, while at the same time diplomatically respecting those of others. Assertive people defend themselves when someone attempts to dominate them;  they only use aggression in defense of their personal boundaries.

The ability to trust and, in turn be trusted, is an important aspect of our identity that defines how we relate to other people. When another person can confidently rely on your character, strengths and abilities, you have gained their trust. This is especially important with loved one’s since trust forms the foundation for successful, long-term relationships, something we often take for granted.  So how do you build trust and maintain a happy, healthy relationship? Here are some tips:

It takes a leap of faith to be trusting. In any type of relationship, there are different levels of trust: assurance that what you say will be kept in confidence, a promise of fidelity, or the ‘for better or worse’ marriage vows. You may have fleeting thoughts of mistrust for example, about cheating or that you can’t show your true self for fear of rejection - these are normal human emotions. But when there is an unresolved, persistent lack of trust or an intuitive sense of betrayal, a rift is made in the intimacy of the relationship, even if there is no evidence to backup this feeling.